Saturday, August 9, 2008
Love is Patient
Quite a few years ago, a pastor, who was in his 80's, left a lasting impression on my mind about patience. Whenever he would talk about patience, he would drag out the word to emphasize its meaning, "Pa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-tience." He would repeat it over and over again! You could get an idea of how patient or impatient you really were by how irritated you would get from hearing him say it like that! "Pa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-tience."
"Love is patient...". - 1 Corinthians 13:4 NLT
"Charity suffereth long..." - 1 Corinthians 13:4 KJV
"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience..." - Galatians 5:22 NLT
The Greek word that is translated 'patience' or 'longsuffering', has a very specific meaning. When I looked it up in the concordance, I put the translation together with some of the other verses that used that same word and I found that Paul was communicating a very simple, but profound truth.
In James 5:7 we read,
"Dear brothers and sisters,
be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return.
Consider the farmers who patiently wait
for the rains in the fall and in the spring.
They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen."
We are waiting for the Lord to return. We look for Him eagerly, but we do not know when He will return. We have no control over the timing. The farmer does not know when the rains will come. He can plant the seed, and eagerly expect rain so he will have a harvest, but there is nothing he can do to change when the rain will fall. He just knows that it will rain.
In both examples, patience is: waiting expectantly for an unknown length of time for something that I know will happen, but only happens in God's appointed time.
I am not able to control the timing. I just need to do and be all that I can, and then wait for what I am expecting to happen in God's appointed time.
In Hebrews 6:15, Paul uses this same word again when referring to Abraham.
"Then Abraham waited patiently,
and he received what God had promised."
God made a promise to Abraham. He didn't say when the promise would be fulfilled. Abraham had to wait patiently for a long time - wait expectantly for an unknown length of time for something he knew would happen (because God said it would), but would only happen in God's appointed time. Abraham tried to hurry the promise of a son. He was worried about how much longer he and Sarah would be able to bear a child, so he had a son with Hagar, Sarah's handmaiden. As we know, that didn't change God's plan or timing for the promise He had made to Abraham. God's will was for Isaac to be born to Sarah, and there was nothing any human could do to change that. Abraham just needed to wait.
God, Himself, demonstrates this same patience toward us. Because He is 'Love', it causes Him to have this longsuffering kind of patience. In 2 Peter 3:9, it says,
"The Lord isn’t really being slow about His promise,
as some people think.
No, He is being patient for your sake.
He does not want anyone to be destroyed,
but wants everyone to repent."
God waits expectantly for something He knows will happen, but will only happen in His appointed time.
In His longsuffering, patience, He understands where we are in our life. He knows that we are not mature enough to understand everything, nor capable to do everything. He knows that we are weak, like babies, when we first come to Him or when we've been wounded deeply, and His patience gives us room to grow and heal because He knows that we will - in His time! He looks at the whole picture of our hearts and doesn't expect us to be anything more than we are right now, but, He always has in mind the completion of who we will be someday, by His incredible grace!
I want to look at one more scripture that will help tie these thoughts together. In Ephesians 4:2, it says,
"Be patient with each other,
making allowance for each other’s faults
because of your love."
Paul uses the same word! His exhortation is, "Hey, everyone! Because you 'Love' each other, remember that God is still at work in each other's lives and He has promised to make you whole, perfect and mature in Christ. That being the case, be willing to wait expectantly for an unknown length of time for something that you know will happen, but will only happen in God's appointed time.
We cannot change anyone. We cannot get into their heart and make them be or do anything they are not. If we are impatient with someone because they are behaving in the way that we think they shouldn't, no amount of pressure or manipulating, no amount of pleading or yelling is going to change their heart! Only God can do that by His Holy Spirit, and He waits for the right time to bring about change.
He has told us that He will complete the good work He began in our lives. We know that that is going to happen. But, we do not know how long it will take or how it will take place.
We need "Pa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-tience" with each other. We need to wait expectantly for an unknown length of time for something that we know will happen, but will only happen in God's appointed time.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN IN MY EVERYDAY LIFE?
An evidence or demonstration of 'Love' in my heart is patience. In my relationships, it is the ability and desire to wait expectantly for an unknown length of time for something that I know will happen, but will happen in God's appointed time.
As a parent, my love for my children will keep me mindful of who they are and what they are capable of realistically. I will be patient with them. I will enjoy the moment with them. I will remember they are 5 years old and not 15 or 25. Because my child is young, I will remember that they will forget things like - where to put their boots, how to use a napkin, where they put their homework. They will have accidents because their coordination is not strong - they may get distracted when carrying a plate of food or a full glass of milk. They take longer to do something and they don't do it very well in their stage of life like - folding laundry or getting dressed.
But, I can have confidence that they will not always be like this! As a mom, I know children grow up and by and large become capable young people and adults! Someday they will be faster, stronger, more capable, more dependable and wiser.
In my love for them, I will see them as precious and realize that yelling, pushing, pressuring and giving harsh punishments will only hinder their maturing. It will result in damaging their self worth and sense of value. It will also give them a bad model of how to treat the people they love.
Patience with our children helps parents to wait expectantly (looking forward with joy) for an unknown length of time (each stage of growing up) for something that I know will happen (my child will mature), but will happen in God's appointed time.
As a wife, the love I have for my husband will be evident when I am faced with his imperfections. The kind of imperfections I am referring to are the areas where he has not had much experience and where he is trying to gain skill. I know that I am not perfect and when I mess up, I hope for someone to give me another opportunity so that I can try to 'get it right' - like when my wonderful 'gourmet' idea turns out to be just above edible!
My husband needs me to be patient with him. I have never met a 100% perfect man, so there are going to be times in relationships when his efforts at daily living are going to fall flat, cause confusion, make me uncomfortable, not be to my liking. But, if his heart is wanting to do the right thing, and he has a desire to get better at whatever skill he is struggling with right now, I need to have patience with him. My love for him and his success will wait expectantly (see into his potential) for an unknown length of time (as he tries again) for something I know will happen (my husband will achieve his desires), but will happen in God's appointed time - not in my appointed time, not because I keep correcting, nagging, whining.
When love enables me to have 'pa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-tience', my need to be satisfied is replaced with my desire to see my child, husband or friend walk in freedom to grow and excel. The pressure is off and I can enjoy the moment with them in their attempts and efforts. My focus is taken up with the hope of the future instead of the 'imperfection of the present.' We can love whole heartedly right now, right where they are with an eye on all the abundant potential for their future!
What a captivating radiance appears on the face of a woman who can love the 'now' and the 'what will be' simultaneously! Her heart is filled with joy, peace, expectation, enthusiasm and it pours out of her being to everyone around her!
Comments:
rebekah said...
BEAUTIFUL! VERY WELL said, Diane!
She writes of herself, my friends!
August 9, 2008 4:15 PM
SK and Family said...
This one simply resonates! Thank you!
:)Hugs,
Katherine
August 13, 2008 2:37 PM
Diane said...
Thank you Ladies! Your responses are so appreciated! ;);)
August 13, 2008 5:24 PM