Wednesday, July 30, 2008
What 'Love' is Not
"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels,
but didn’t love others,
I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I had the gift of prophecy,
and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge,
and if I had such faith that I could move mountains,
but didn’t love others,
I would be nothing.
If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body,
I could boast about it;
but if I didn’t love others,
I would have gained nothing."
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
Paul begins his definition of 'Love' by describing what it is not. In Galatians 5, he introduces a list of the characteristics that will be evident in the life of someone who is filled with the Holy Spirit (the Fruit of the Spirit) with a list of the characteristics of a life that is void of the Holy Spirit (the desires of our sinful nature).
God is 'Love' and everything He does is motivated and carried out by 'Love'. In His loving nature, He created life, He breathed life, He made provision for life to continue. His 'Love' causes Him to give, to forgive, to comfort, to search for, to restore, to resurrect.
Can you see how 'Love' produces 'Life'? You will never see 'Love' causing or producing brokenness or pain and that's the biggest indication as to whether or not something is done in 'Love' - does it bring life to a situation or a person or not? Is it for the good or not?
Practically speaking, what is NOT 'Love'? I'll just go down the list of opposites that Paul gives using examples of everyday life to illustrate.
LOVE IS NOT:
- Taking advantage of the saying, "The truth hurts" to tell-it-like-it-is so that I look good without regard for the feelings and benefit of others
- Using scripture or truth about situations in a mean attitude that makes the other person look bad, and makes me feel better
- Satisfying my sexual desires anywhere, anytime, in anyway, with just anyone
- unfaithfulness in marriage
- prostitution
- pornography
- Found in the connection with or worship of spiritual entities apart from the Living God
- fortune tellers
- occultic activities
- channeling
- Arguing or using anger to get my point across to prove that I am right or that I am in control
- yelling, hollering
- intimidating
- physical force
- Blowing up when things don't go my way
- yelling at the waitress, slow traffic
- having a fit when something doesn't turn out the way I expected
- Gossiping with a view to breaking up relationships
- sharing information that would hurt someone's reputation so they lose friends
- sharing 'prayer requests' that put a person in a negative light
- Trying to control other people's friendships
- "If she's coming, I'm not going with you."
- Withdrawing from my friend so that she knows I'm not happy with her.
- "You spend more time with her than you do with me."
- Breaking down morale in a group just because I don't agree with the leader's decision
- talking to friends in the group about your 'better idea'
- complaining and spreading an attitude of defeat in a group project
- Doing things to bring me a promotion at the expense of another person's reputation
- altering circumstances so that the other person looks bad
- being dishonest about my efforts - using the efforts of others to my credit
- Does not become resentful because of someone else's successes, possessions and relationships
- quitting a job because someone else got the promotion
- leaving a group because 'so-and-so' bought a house in a better neighborhood
- having a pity party because she has more friends than I do
- Does not cause discontentment with one's own assets just because someone has something better
- overlooking the many good things I have because my neighbor got a new car and now I really want one too
- always feeling like I never have enough - at least, in my thinking, I don't have as much as everybody else
- Does not use substances in excess which result in my not being in control of my faculties because of the shame or harm it could bring on myself and others that care about me
- wasting time and money on parties where I get drunk and 'out of my mind', resulting in my doing things that hurt my family and friends.
This is what 'Love' is not. It's pretty obvious that life without 'Love' is no life at all. If I say I 'Love' someone, but treat them in these kinds of ways, I am really disillusioned about what 'Love' is and I need help!
If you are 'being loved' in these ways, you need to get help! This is not a healthy or safe way to live. Call a counsellor, a domestic violence organization, or a pastor for guidance and information.
In my next articles, I will look at what 'Love' is, and we will be challenged to experience life in all its beauty. Blessings to you!
Comments:
rebekah said...
Again, VERY WELL SAID, my dear friend!
I can taste a best seller published!
August 2, 2008 12:35 PM